Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Alpha Beta California

Me: Beta? Hey kids what does Beta mean? 
R: It means it's not in its final form yet.
Me: All I know is there used to B a store called Alpha Beta.
R:  Alpha means just beginning to be made.
Me: Okay.
N: Old people are hard to explain things so.
Me: I know I saw a young man about 27 trying to explain something on the phone.  He was so sad, he was so heartbroken, not even mad just hurting.

R and N: (eyes open and with irritating disbelief, --mine or theirs not sure-- that infertile pause again  (  -- qua?-- what?--  ) then their certain eyes saying (  -- ummm -- ) kind of mercifully pitiful

Me: SO I told him, "I know it's hard."  It hurt him a little more but I also saw the woman in front of me, her shoulders dropped, Not sure if that was ( --ok?--) to recognize someone was hurting from miscommunication.

Then I pull out my phone and try to double-triple check I sent the e-mail.

"Over the WIFI please."

My device is now a cauldron of emotions and a blank sheet of metallic glass,  no longer a phone no longer a computer,

And I low-turtled it out of there deciding that if it couldn't be printed it didn't deserve to be printed.  F the State of CA, in other words, it failed me why must i succeed for it?

But beyond my blame of the blamelessly at fault, I decide not to mention my faillure when upone returning home, the kids seem to me disappointed at my appearance but glad to have me near them the same.

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